After living with multiple sclerosis for a few years, living in an age of 'why' and 'how' most MSERS tend to try and figure out how they went on to develop MS. It being how we 'caught' it in our more naive days and the things that come to mind are very vast from person to person. For example, as mentioned before people blamed certain physical traumas being the cause of the condition like a car accident or even a flu jab. Excluding the many 'logical' excuses for nerve damage by the many 'home made doctors' which can wait for another topic!
I did the same many times, and I almost for a long time blamed it entirely on one thing, which may still be somewhat a factor. As a youngster I used to be 'bigger' than most other people, I for a long time used to be an easy target for jokes about my weight and it's side effects! Along with my fathers encouragement to try my best in all matters and the numerous chants, whenever I came across a task I wanted to achieve the best that seemed possible. Take for example GCSE exams, I started revision a good few months earlier than the rest of my peers, at times being the only one turning up at the early morning revision sessions ( I enjoyed the life of a geek/nerd) which paid off come results day, which an old teacher did highlight to me on a visit to my old school that I should be very proud that I did the best as I could when I had the means to do so. As I wanted to overcome the weight issue, I was in a phase of doing a lot of excercise, sometimes jogging on the streets in the late hours of the night ( so nobody would see me, being very self cautious and having a low self esteem almost but always feeling I had to prove a point). Swimming many lengths and running on the treadmill more than people would ever imagine. However I never ate properly as at the time, to me a lowering of weight was an achievement and I thought perhaps this lead to the onset of the disease. A glass of milk for breakfast then off to cricket training seemed completely fine to me at the time, this may have had an affect along with a few others who felt the same as I when the topic arose. On the positive side however, that mentality of getting things sorted be it alone or with others has helped me to understand MS in a way that does help with living with it.
Obviously life is full of mistakes leading to regrets and I like others would have many but in life ( mind my French) shit happens but somebody has to clean it all up! If anything developing MS has taught me that accepting things the way they are can make life a lot easier, instead of being a bit of a bossy boots like I was! Most hard acting people do have a very soft spot, and I definitely did!
But along with a new insight on life, I also at the time almost entered a new world spiritually, after months of limbo, although I usually would've forgotten what I would've had for dinner the night before , I can remember the exact spot in which I had prayed seeking an answer on my pilgrimage trip and it's almost immediate answering when I reached home and the effects of Ms comforted by that hope that was almost instilled before I had to start the journey.
P.S. My weight loss wasn't due to the MS I just grew up, I was big boned that's all!
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